


Lasso the Moon

by CydSA



Category: American Idol RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-05-15
Updated: 2010-05-15
Packaged: 2017-10-09 11:16:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 19,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/86698
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CydSA/pseuds/CydSA
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>AU - Adam plans weddings. Kris is getting married. Uh-oh.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

_Have you ever fed a lover with just your hands?_

Adam hated wedding days. The fact that wedding days paid for his bread and butter didn't make it any better. He hated the drama and the tears and the family squabbling and the true love declarations.

God, he hated those most of all.

The 'I'm so thankful that I've found you's', the 'I looked into your eyes and knew you were the one's', the 'I didn't believe in love until I met you's' and the 'I will love you forever's'. He had a book. It was hidden away from all eyes but his, but every wedding he planned, he wrote down the names and put down a guestimate as to when the divorce would happen. He would have made a fortune in Vegas.

The business of weddings was a Lambert family tradition. His grandparents had started it back in the forties and his mother and father had continued to grow 'Leave it to Lambert', dragging Neil and him in at an early age. The fact that they worked in an environment that was all about love and marriage and forever was a source of endless entertainment for both of them. Neil was even more cynical than he was.

"I give it a year." Neil whispered through the side of his mouth as they stood at the back of the chapel and watched the short blushing bride declare true and everlasting love to her pudgy groom.

Adam gave the pair a considering look. "Two. They're both the desperate sort. They'll hang on longer." Neil held out his hand and they shook on it. Yeah, not so much with the happy ever after.

Their mother poked each of them in the back. "Shut up you two. Can't you just enjoy the romance of the day?" Neil and Adam exchanged looks and simultaneously pretended to retch. Leila snorted softly behind them. "Asses."

The reception was usually when things calmed down, after the dessert course and as the guests grew progressively drunker. Adam headed back to the small room off the ballroom to get himself an aspirin. His head was pounding from the noise and his mouth felt stretched from all the smiling.

He was busy rummaging through his mother's purse for her pill bottle when he heard giggling and the bride and groom stumbled into the room, all hands and lips and they didn't even see Adam. He ducked behind the sofa close to the wall and closed his eyes. Some days he really fucking hated his life.

The sound of clothes rustling and heavy breathing told him what was happening. Now he knew exactly how Hugh Grant had felt in that scene from 'Four Weddings and a Funeral'. It made his stomach turn as he imagined what they were doing. The moans and grunts were more than graphic enough. When she began a slow wail and a litany of 'yes, yes, yes' he put his hands over his ears trying to block out the sounds. Then the groom gave a low, drawn out whimper that sounded as though someone was putting his balls through a bandsaw.

And Adam started laughing.

The next few minutes were spent pacifying the humiliated pair and dodging his mother's angry glares. Neil wasn't helpful at all. As soon as heard what had happened he started laughing and hadn't stopped for the past few minutes. They were both banished to the minivan.

"Oh God, I wish I could have seen that." Neil wiped his eyes, still chortling slightly.

Adam shuddered. "Fuck no. It was bad enough hearing everything. I swear, that scene put me off hetero sex for life." It set Neil off again and Adam soon joined him.

When Leila and Eber climbed in the car, they had managed to calm themselves down. Adam grinned sunnily at his mother and said, "Well, at least this wasn't a boring wedding."

Eber tried valiantly to disguise his laugh with a cough but it was a complete fail and eventually Leila's mouth ticked and they were all crying and howling and Adam thought that some days being part of a family business wasn't half bad at all.

The parentals dropped Adam and Neil off at their condo where they each had their own apartment, separated by as many floors as possible. Bidding Leila and Eber goodnight, they headed inside.

"Drink?" Neil offered but Adam shook his head.

"Nah. I am good. It's been a crazy day and night. I am looking forward to a lazy Sunday." Adam rolled his shoulders. "See you in the morning some time?"

Neil nodded and waved, Adam continued his way up the stairs. At this time of night he usually cursed himself for insisting on the top floor. But the view was spectacular and there was a sense of space that he didn't get in Neil's apartment.

He tossed his keys on the table in the hallway and pressed play on his answering machine. It was an old-fashioned tape machine but he loved its quirkiness and the fact that only the people he truly adored had this number.

"Duude!" Allison. "It's a go for next Saturday. Anoop said that you're not allowed to be a bitch about it. The kids need our skills. Later!" Adam groaned. The charity baseball match was not going to be pretty. He started planning his excuses.

"Lambert." Anoop. "Don't even think about it, asswipe. You _will_ be there on Saturday. And bring Megan and Neil." Adam restrained himself from pulling a tongue at the machine. Fuck, now he'd have to go. Ugh, sweating, except in the middle of fucking, was just wrong.

"Barbarella." Brad. "Anoop has left this peculiar message on my mobile telling me to be at the baseball pitch at WeHo High School at nine am next Saturday. Is there something I should know? Cass says he received a similar order. Are we doing something perverse, like exercise? Call me, fucker." Adam groaned again. Anoop was a master shit stirrer, especially when it came to Adam and his friends.

He would have to call Brad back first. His ex would cause havoc if he didn't. He checked the time, but decided it was too late and headed for his bedroom, sloughing clothes as he walked.

He showered quickly and collapsed on the bed. God, he hated weddings. And he slept.

_Close your eyes and trust it, just trust it_

The sun exploded in the sky the next morning. It was summer so it was bright and shiny and every bird in creation was sitting outside his window singing its head off. He thought about killing them all, the fantasy lasted all of a minute and then he rolled off the bed and headed for the bathroom.

Face washed and teeth brushed, he pulled on a pair of old, soft jeans, a faded Queen t-shirt and a pair of Havianas and headed downstairs to get his morning fix.

Starbucks was already packed, but Vicky, his favourite barista, waved at him and nodded. He smiled and pointed at the butter croissants, held up one finger and she grinned. Who needed sign language?

He headed for the till and handed over his money, telling her to keep the change. She raised an eyebrow. "Rough night?"

Adam took a sip of his non-fat, half and half mocha latte and sighed. "Wedding."

Vicky nodded. "Poor you." He'd spent a good deal of time whining to her about his job. "How long for this pair?' He'd also told her about his cynical side-bets with himself.

"Two years, max, they're sweet, but hopeless." He shrugged. "Hey, maybe this time I'll be wrong." But he wouldn't be. He never was. He waved to her as he left the shop.

He crossed the street, munching on his croissant and didn't really watch where he was going. He heard a car horn beep loudly and a shout and then a torpedo hit him from behind and he, and his breakfast went flying. He vaguely registered the horn blaring and a car whooshing past as he lay flat, face first on the road.

"Are you okay?" He heard the question from a distance and mentally reviewed his body. He hurt everywhere.

He looked down at the asphalt and slowly rolled over, assisted by his rescuer's strong hands. "Um, yeah, I think…" his voice trailed off as he looked up into dark brown eyes, filled with concern.

"Hey." The stranger spoke again and Adam struggled to focus. "Don't fade on me, man. Come on; let's see if you can stand up." He pushed himself to his feet and offered Adam a hand. Still slightly dazed, Adam grabbed the hand and stood. And then promptly collapsed against his saviour. Strong arms went around him and Adam realised that his new friend was considerably shorter than him.

"You okay?" the little guy asked again and Adam mumbled something that sounded like a yes. "Let's get you out of the road and have a look at the damage." The guy was chatty as he helped Adam hobble over to the bench on the sidewalk.

He sat down and felt every muscle scream in protest. His wince must have given him away because Rescue Boy was crouched in front of him in a second, running his hands the length of Adam's calves and thighs and oh…that could be awkward. He squeaked a bit and flailed his hands. "I'm okay! Really!"

The frown on the awfully pretty face was doubtful. "I don't know, man. I hit you pretty hard."

Adam glared at him. "I'm not a Powder Puff girl!" Where the hell had that come from?

It didn't daunt his new friend though who grinned at him and held out a hand. "Kris."

Adam automatically took it and hissed when Kris' skin hit the torn flesh of his palms. "Ouch! Fuck! Adam. Fuck! Nice to meet you." And felt his heart just float out of his chest His mom had always told him that he'd know when he met the right guy.

He knew.

"So, Adam fuck Adam, do I need to get you to the emergency room?" Kris' smile was gentle but his eyes were concerned.

Adam shook his head. "No. I'm okay thanks. My apartment is just over there," he waved a vague hand; "I'll go and put some anti-septic cream on my hands and lie in a hot bath for about a year. I'll be fine."

That smile again. "I'll just tag along if you don't mind. Just to make sure you're okay?" Kris' brown eyes twinkled a bit. "You know what they say about if you save a life then that life belongs to you."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "So I belong to you then?"

Kris flushed. "Maybe?" He said it like a question but his eyes told a different story. Adam was okay with that.

He stood up and heading for his building, looking around once to make sure that Kris was still with him. He was.

_Have you ever thrown a fist full of glitter in the air?_

Adam kept wanting to glance back like Orpheus in the underworld, wanting to make sure that his long lost love was following. It made him feel a little pathetic but he reckoned he was entitled to be a little pathetic after his near death experience.

The stairs proved problematic. He just wasn't going to make it up there in this condition, so at the first floor he knocked on Neil's door.

He heard his brother cursing and when the door swung open, Neil was trying to get his shirt on. He took in Adam's dishevelled appearance and pulled the door open further. "What the fuck happened?"

Adam limped in and Kris replied, "Adam took on a car in a game of Oblivious Chicken and the car won."

Adam swung to glare at him and gritted, "Adam was attacked by a pocket-sized missile and taken down like a girl." Kris just grinned at him.

Neil swivelled his head between the two of them. "Am I missing something?"

Kris smirked. "He belongs to me now." He jerked a thumb at Adam who rolled his eyes.

Neil turned to Adam and stated, "I _have_ missed something."

Adam headed for Neil's bathroom, calling back over his shoulder, "Kris here smashed into me and fed me to the road on the pretext of saving me from the big bad car." He rummaged in Neil's cabinet and took out some cotton wool swabs, anti-septic cream and medicinal alcohol. Fuck, this was going to hurt.

Kris was introducing himself to Neil when he came back but he raced over to Adam as soon as he spotted him. "You got the stuff?" Adam mutely held out the supplies and Kris nudged him over to Neil's sofa. "This is gonna sting," he warned.

He poured some of the alcohol on a swab and moved to wipe Adam's palms. Adam hissed and Kris looked up at him. "I haven't even touched you yet!" he protested.

Adam stared down his nose at Kris. "I'm just getting prepared for it." And then squealed in pain as the swab hit his skin. "Fu-uu-uck!"

Neil was standing staring at them in fascination. "Are you sure you've only just met?" He shook his head in confusion. "Because it's like watching a comedy routine."

Adam could hear himself whining as Kris wiped at the scrapes on his palm. "Stop being such a baby." Kris told him sharply and Adam stuck his tongue out.

Neil came over and looked at the operation with interest. "So you saved Adam's life? Huh. Are you a doctor then?"

Kris looked up from his task and laughed. "Nope, although I have done some medical training. It was mandatory for the missionary trips."

"Missionary trips?" Adam asked, momentarily distracted from the blinding pain of his hands.

"Yeah, I spent some time in Africa and Asia with my church. Seeing how other people live and struggle, well," he shrugged, "it kind of makes your life look a bit indulgent and spoiled. It changed my life"

Of course he's a fucking saint. Adam felt his heart sink and then yelped again as Kris continued his efforts.

"So why did you stop with the missionary stuff?" Neil asked the question that Adam was dying to know the answer to. Plus it distracted him from the stinging of his hands.

Kris looked over at Neil and shrugged. "I don't know, I grew up, I guess, decided to get a job and settle down." He turned his gaze back down to Adam's hands.

"And what did you settle down to?" Adam's question was soft and Kris raised his eyes and they stared at each other for a charged moment.

"I went to college, got a degree in business administration and I'm the manager of my future father in law's company." Just like that, Adam felt his heart break. It was a sonic boom that he was sure the entire city heard.

He dropped his eyes and slowly pulled his hands away from Kris' and smiled wanly. "So, you're getting married then?" His voice sounded gritty, as though he was speaking through sand.

Kris nodded, still crouched in front of him. "Yeah, Katy and me are meeting with a wedding planner on Monday."

Adam heard Neil start laughing and he just knew that the universe had fucked him over. Again. "Oh, really? What's the name of your planner?" But he knew. That's how his life worked.

Kris frowned in confusion. "Um, I don't know, Lambert something?"

"Leave it to Lambert?" Neil asked helpfully, ignoring Adam's furious glare.

Kris looked surprised. "Yeah. How'd you know?" Adam stood and limped to Neil's kitchen and poured himself a glass of water while Neil filled Kris in.

"We're the Lamberts, Neil and Adam. Our parents, Leila and Eber are the other two Lamberts in the business." Neil sent a semi-sympathetic glance to Adam who grimaced and drank his water.

"Are you serious?" Kris was incredulous. "That's like the height of freaky." He looked over at Adam, wide-eyed and gorgeous.

Adam felt anger and regret pierce him and he suddenly wanted to get away from this perfect boy and his perfect skin and his perfect smile. "I'm going to head up to my apartment and shower." He grimaced. "I'm sort of nasty right now." He attempted a smile but Neil's expression told him he'd failed.

He held out his hand to Kris. "I guess I'd better say thanks for saving me and I'll see you on Monday?"

Kris shook his hand slowly, careful with the scrapes on his palm. "Are you sure you'll be okay going up the stairs?"

Adam shrugged. "I'll have to be, otherwise I'll have to borrow something of Neil's and that just isn't going to happen. Ever." Neil snorted a laugh.

"I'll help you…" Kris began but Adam shook his head.

"No, but thanks. I'll get my useless brother to help. You'd better go and see your…Katy, was it? I can't wait to meet her and tell her about her brave heroic fiancé." Adam was pretty proud of his self-control. What he actually wanted to do was throw himself on the ground, kicking and screaming with disappointment.

Neil took the hint and showed Kris to the door. "Thanks for rescuing my dumb brother. He's a pain in the ass most days, but I like having him around."

Kris left, with one last look back at Adam, eyes worried and dark. "Okay. If you're sure you'll be alright." He allowed Neil to hustle him out and Adam went to flop down on the sofa again.

Neil came back and looked down at him. "You are so fucking screwed."

Adam groaned, "Tell me something I _don't_ know." He turned pathetic eyes up at his brother. "How does this happen to me?"

Neil sat down next to him, dropped a friendly arm over his shoulders. "You keep falling for the straight boys, brother. That's why it keeps happening."

Adam shrugged his arm off and whined, "I don't know that they're straight when I meet them."

Neil laughed, "You have the worst gaydar in the history of gay men."

Adam stood and hobbled to the door. "I really hate my life sometimes." He turned back to Neil and told him, "By the way, you're part of the baseball team for Anoop's charity thing next Saturday." He had the satisfaction of hearing Neil swearing as he closed the door and took about a hundred years to climb the stairs to his apartment.

_Have you ever looked fear in the face and said I just don't care?_

It was a tough day. Adam stayed in bed once he got to his apartment. He was in mourning for a relationship that had ended before it had even begun.

Monday seemed to agree with his mood. It dawned dark and dreary and every single muscle in Adam's body ached. He felt as if the car had actually hit him.

He spotted his mother at her desk when he got into the office and greeted her with a subdued, "Hi Mom."

Her absent greeting was not the sympathy he was looking for so he sighed heavily. Finally she looked up and gasped. "What on earth?"

"I had an accident." He wanted his mother's arms cuddling him and she didn't disappoint. She came over and wrapped him close.

"Baby!" He dropped his head onto her shoulder, wilting into her, and sighed again. "What happened?"

He mumbled the story and she made all the appropriate noises. A snort from the doorway told him that Neil had arrived. "Did he tell you that he fell in lust with his rescuer and then discovered that Kris, that's his name by the way, had both a fiancée and an appointment with him this morning?"

Adam sent a death glare at him from Leila's shoulder. "Asshole."

"Drama Queen." It was an old argument that usually descended into shoving and occasionally biting but Leila nipped it in the bud.

"Your Kris is actually a client?" Straight to the heart of the matter and Adam nodded his head feebly against her shoulder. "Oh baby, you sure know how to pick them." She petted his hair and then pushed him away.

He gave her a kiss and headed to his office, Neil trailing after him. "So did you hear from your boyfriend yet?"

Adam snarled and lowered himself gingerly into his chair. "If we weren't related and I thought I could get away with it, I would kill you."

Neil sniggered. "You and what army? You're moving like a geriatric. I think Grandpa with his walker could beat you up right now."

Adam flipped him the bird and opened his diary. "Fuck off. I have work." Neil left him, still laughing. He was still convinced they'd sent the wrong baby home from the hospital with his mother.

Then Kris arrived with his pretty blond Katy and Adam played the perfect wedding planner. He was charming and helpful and understanding and Katy declared that if she wasn't going to marry Kris, she would have grabbed him up. "But I have a girlfriend that I really think you'll like," she told him.

He laughed. "That's very thoughtful of you, but girls aren't really my type, sweetheart. I prefer them a little less female, if you get what I mean?" He waggled his eyebrows to show that he wasn't offended.

Katy giggled, musical and infectious and Adam really wanted to hate her, but he couldn't because she was a darling girl and stupid in love with Kris. "You hide the gay so very well," she assured him and they both shared a laugh.

Kris had sat there like a lump, contributing nothing and looking increasingly uncomfortable with the conversation. "Do you really need me here?" he asked and Katy stared at him, hurt written all over her face.

"Don't you want to be part of the arrangements, honey?" Her voice was low and a little wobbly.

Kris immediately got this panicked look on his face and Adam had to look down to hide his grin. It seemed that women the world over were taught this kind of emotional blackmail. "Of course I do! I meant I'm not really doing anything. I'm just sitting here."

Katy's lip quivered and Kris caved. "Fine! What do you need me to do?" His voice was resigned and Adam didn't stop the laugh this time.

"Straight boys are so easy," he told Katy who giggled again, threatened tears miraculously dried up.

She replied sweetly, squeezing Kris' hand. "They are, aren't they?"

Kris glared at both of them. "You two are going to gang up on me aren't you?" Adam and Katy shared a look and nodded simultaneously. Kris groaned, "I am so screwed." They exchanged another glance, triumphant and Kris pointed at them. "I saw that!"

"You were supposed to." Adam assured him with a grin.

Kris wrinkled his nose at him. "You're obviously feeling **much** better."

Katy looked at Kris. "What? Do you know each other? Have you guys met before?"

Adam raised an eyebrow. "You mean your Prince Charming didn't tell you that he rescued me from certain death?"

Katy shook her head. "No. This sounds intriguing. Do tell." Adam obliged, embellishing on the drama of the moment a bit but thoroughly charmed by the increasingly flushed cheeks of the man in the chair opposite him.

Kris rubbed the back of his neck and begged, "Come on Adam, it wasn't that big of a deal. Stop with the exaggerating."

Katy grinned at him. "You're like the most perfect man in the world. Saving strangers and then keeping quiet about it." She jumped out of her chair and plopped herself on Kris' lap, arms entwined around his neck. "Have I told you lately just how much I love you?"

She leaned in and kissed him and he smiled into her mouth. "You could never tell me enough, honey." Adam tried to control the gag reflex. Yeah, the universe seriously hated him right now. He just had to figure out what he'd done wrong so that karma would stop fucking with him.

But they were adorable together, two little shiny pocket people, and he really couldn't hate them. "So, have you thought about a venue?" he asked them and was faced with identical expressions of panic. "I guess that means no?"

He spent the next fifteen minutes suggesting various venues but what Katy liked, Kris hated and when Kris pointed somewhere out, Katy nixed it. "Right, I can see that I am going to have to do a whole lot more research to find something that suits the two of you." He looked at Katy. "You want something big and open for lots of people." Then he turned to Kris. "And _you_ want something natural and bright and sort of homey?" The both nodded. "Okay then. Leave it with me, I'll find something."

Katy looked at him doubtfully. "Are you sure?"

Adam nodded confidently. "It's what I do, baby. I am very good at what I do."

Katy pecked him on the cheek and told him, "I think this might be the start of a beautiful friendship." Adam didn't want to smile but she was kind of like an irresistible force that just wouldn't let him dislike her.

Kris shook his hand, still careful with the scrapes on his palm. "Thanks man, knowing that you're in control of this whole thing is making me feel a lot better."

He nodded to Neil as he left Adam's office. "Hey Neil, nice to see you again." And they left in a whirlwind of smiles and sunshine.

Adam slumped in his chair, miserable. "I must have done something really bad in the past to be punished like this."

Neil laughed, "Yeah, probably all those times you stuck my head in the toilet. Payback's a bitch big brother."

Adam snarled at him and then his mother walked in, cuffed Neil on the head and ordered, "Stop teasing your brother."

Neil gaped at her. "He started!" Adam opened his mouth to protest but Leila just gave him 'the look'. You know the one that all mother's perfect? The look that strikes terror in your heart while you frantically try to think of excuses for whatever it is that she thinks you've done wrong.

"They seem sweet." Her voice was casual, eyes anything but.

Adam nodded. "Yeah, they are. She's like the female version of him. Except that she sounds like she swallowed a canister of helium." He felt bad immediately. There was really no need for him to hate Katy apart from the fact that she was marrying the boy of his dreams. "Sorry. That was mean. She's lovely. They suit each other."

Neil watched him closely. "Odds on them working?" he asked.

Adam shook his head. "I'll need to spend more time with them. It's too early to tell." But deep inside he thought that they could possibly be the exception to his cynical rule. They really seemed like a match made in heaven.

_It's only half past the point of no return_

It always amazed Adam how someone the size of Brad could take up so much space in a room. He'd arrived home that evening to find his ex boyfriend waiting for him, along with Cassidy, a friend of Adam's and Brad's boyfriend for the past year.

Brad and Cass were sitting against his front door, leaning on one another, all legs and arms and leather, probably scandalising all the neighbours in the process. They both looked up at him as he stood over them, hands planted on his hips.

Brad complained, "It's about fucking time you got here, princess. We were about to shock Aunty Ethel over there with some nc-17 rated PDA." He grinned up at him lazily and Adam felt a small pang that he suspected would never go away.

"Why are you here anyway?" he asked and helped them both up.

They followed him into his apartment where Cass kissed his cheek and Brad planted a sloppy kiss on the corner of his mouth. "We want to know more about this charity drive Anoop called us about. It sounds suspiciously like an actual sporting event." The only person more allergic to sports than he was; was Brad.

Cass grinned. "I told him we could design some killer team uniforms, but he wasn't buying it."

Adam grinned back and then sighed. "Yeah, it's a baseball game. We're playing for a children's cancer clinic against a team from Danny's Dreams."

Brad's eyes narrowed. "That's the asshole who told the local paper that just because you were gay didn't mean you had taste, right?"

Adam shrugged. "It backfired on him. He looked like a dick and is trying to make up for it." He saw the stubborn set of Brad's jaw. "Hey, I'm the one he insulted. If I'm okay with it, then you need to let it go."

Cass stroked a hand down Brad's arm, soothing him. "Honey, don't let the Dannys of the world get to you. There are more important battles to be fought."

Brad pecked him on the mouth and smiled. "Thank God I have you, my little voice of reason." The fact that Cass was about a head taller than Brad made Adam smile.

"Anyone for a glass of wine?" he asked, heading for the kitchen. They both said yes and Adam brought out a bottle of chilled Chardonnay and three glasses. "So, are you in?"

Brad nodded. "Yes, we'll participate. But I really don't like the idea of running and getting all sweaty. Maybe I can hire a runner?" Adam started laughing and picked up his phone to call Anoop.

"You'd better be calling to tell me that you're going to be there on Saturday." Anoop didn't bother with the pleasantries of 'hello' or 'how are you'; he got right down to it immediately.

"Yes, General Desai, Corporals Brad, Cassidy, Adam and Neil are ready and willing." Adam paused, "Well, perhaps not willing, but we're ready to serve on the front lines."

"Ask him about the runner," Brad hissed and Adam obeyed. He waited for two minutes for Anoop to stop laughing.

"Will there be boys in shorts?" Cassidy asked and Adam repeated the question. Anoop hung up on him.

"Well, that was rude." Brad muttered.

"That's Anoop." Adam shrugged and then picked up the menu for the local Chinese take-out. "You guys want to order in?" They both agreed and Adam called Neil who told him he'd be up there in a bit. Adam called the restaurant and spent ten minutes trying to place the order while Cass and Brad kept changing their minds. Eventually he ordered what he felt like eating and told them that they would have to eat whatever he'd decided on. There was a lot of pouting. He ignored it all.

Neil arrived at the same time as their food and they spent the next couple of minutes happily dividing up food. Adam loved the fact that his completely straight brother was so supremely comfortable with a group of gay men. It was one of the many things that made him proud of Neil, not that he'd ever tell the fathead.

"So, did Adam tell you about his brush with death?" Neil asked around a chopstick scoop of noodles.

Brad and Cassidy's eyes went wide with shock and interest. "No! You nearly died?" Brad asked and Adam rolled his eyes.

"No. I did not nearly die. Thanks to the timely actions of a stranger, I am still here to tell the tale." He glared at Neil who grinned at him. What the hell had he been thinking a moment ago about being proud of him? Neil was an asshole.

"Yeah, and Scrappy Doo, his rescuer, was this cute little twinky guy, just Adam's type and there was all sorts of chemistry." Neil offered with his mouth full. Adam concentrated hard on the moo goo gai pan in the container in front of him.

"Tell me more." Brad ordered and Cass went off on a 'Grease' riff that served as a distraction, but not for long. Brad pointed at Neil with a chopstick. "Details, boy-o"

Neil obliged. "It's been a long time since I've seen Adam so interested. This guy, Kris was really nice too."

"Colour me fascinated." Brad murmured. "So when is the first date?" He looked over at Adam, one satanic brow raised.

Adam just stuffed another chopstick-full in his mouth. Neil was more than happy to answer Brad. "Turns out, he doesn't play for your team. He's getting married and guess who his wedding planners are?" He paused dramatically.

"Leave it to Lambert?" Cass supplied and Neil crowed.

"Score one for the gay guy!" Cass and Neil bumped fists and Adam had a vision of what Saturday was going to be like. It wasn't pretty.

Brad looked at Adam pityingly. "You really have the worst gaydar in the history of ever, precious."

Adam protested, "Hey, maybe it's because I'm bi-curious, maybe it confuses the gaydar."

Brad's expression grew even sadder. "The only bi you are, angelcakes, is bipedal. You may not look queer all the time, but you are totally one of the gang."

Neil was snorting into his noodles and Adam kicked him in the ankle. "Have I told you recently just how much I wish I was an only child?"

Neil just carried on laughing and Adam gave up. Sometimes, it really wasn't worth the aggravation.

"So, petal, when are you going to see Super Straight again?" And that set Neil and Cassidy off into peals of laughter all over again. Adam stalked to the kitchen in disgust to collect another bottle of wine. He really needed a better quality circle of friends. He's start working on that tomorrow.

Brad came up behind him. "Sorry about the teasing, you know we can't help ourselves." He bumped gently against Adam's shoulder. "He got to you huh?"

Adam glanced at Brad out of the corner of his eye. "Yeah, I had a moment there. You know, everything in me sort of recognised him." He shook his head in disgust. "That sounds stupid."

Brad rubbed a comforting hand in a circle on his back. "No it doesn't, sweetheart, it sounds like the closet romantic you are."

Adam glared at him. "I am _not_ a closet romantic. I am a cynical bastard." He really was.

Brad grinned. "You are the hearts and flowers type, baby, always have been. You're waiting for your Prince Charming to come and promise you forever. It's why you're still in the wedding business."

Adam shook his head. "I'm not." He looked at Brad in horror. "Am I?"

Brad nodded. "You are. That's why you and I would never have lasted. I'm far too much of a bitter bitch to keep your sweet self happy." He smiled and looked towards the lounge. "That's why Cass and I work. He's as awful as I am."

Adam sighed and leaned back against the kitchen counter. "I really thought that he was the one. It was like a light went off in my brain."

Brad shrugged. "I don't believe in love at first sight, honey. I am the last person to advise you on the situation. And for God's sake don't ask Neil or Cassidy."

Adam laughed and said, "Well, I'll be seeing them on Wednesday again. Another meeting to discuss the wedding." He rolled his shoulders. "I guess I'll just have to work on my blank face."

Brad laughed and tucked his hand into Adam's elbow. "You have no poker face, dollface. You're an open book."

Adam narrowed his eyes. "I can totally be Fu Manchu." They headed back into the lounge, arguing all the way. It was a good way to spend a Monday evening.

_The tip of the ice burg The sun before the burn _

Wednesday was insane. Adam was dealing with Bridezilla when he spotted Kris coming into the reception area. His heart stopped and then he saw Neil take Kris through to his mother's office and started panicking.

He needed to get rid of his current client as quickly as possible to avert the interrogation Kris was sure to face. He looked at his client and stated, "Kara, the dress you want to wear was designed for a twenty year old virgin, not a forty something divorcee getting married for the third time." He ignored her gasp of shock and continued, "You pay me a lot of money to advise you on this sort of thing. Trust me. It's not the dress for you."

Kara stood up and flounced out of the office, slamming the door behind her. Adam knew she'd be back. Frankenbride always came back. He rubbed at the crease between his eyes and headed for his mother's office.

Kris was sitting opposite her and they were laughing. Adam heaved a sigh of relief. "Hey!" He was gratified to note that his mother looked a little guilty when she saw him and Kris' smile grew wider.

"Hi Adam." Kris jumped up and came towards him, hand extended. Adam got the impression that Kris was a handsy sort of guy and made a mental note to make sure that he kept a professional distance at all times. "I was just telling your mom here that Katy won't be able to make it today. She's auditioning for some TV series and asked me to come and see you alone." His face grew anxious. "Is that okay? I mean, I know it's supposed to be all about the bride, but I reckon I can't screw up too much in one session, right?"

Adam told his stupid heart to ignore the charming smile and concentrate on the job at hand. "Yes, of course that will be fine. I've scheduled us to go and see a couple of venues today if that's alright with you? Maybe we can take some photos and you can show Katy tonight and then let me know if I'm on the right track?"

Kris beamed and nodded. "Awesome! At least we can get outside for a bit." He turned to Leila. "Thanks for keeping me company, Mrs Lambert; I can see why your business is so successful." Adam rolled his eyes and headed out of the door, Kris trailing him. His mother was left blushing and smiling. Kris Allen, charming the Lambert clan one person at a time.

"So, where to first?" Kris asked as they walked out to Adam's car.

"I thought we'd try the unusual first and then work our way down from there," Adam told him and pushed the car remote.

The beep of the Mustang's doors drew Kris' attention and he gazed at Adam's pride and joy with reverence. "You drive a Mustang?" He looked over at Adam who smiled and nodded. "I might ditch Katy for you and your car." Adam felt his heart skip a beat and sternly told it to behave itself.

"Be careful, I might take you up on that," he warned jokingly and went around to the driver's side. "In case you didn't know, you're totally my type." Pity his mouth wasn't as obedient as his heart; he thought and wanted to face plant against the steering wheel.

Kris didn't say anything, just slid into the passenger seat and buckled up. Adam apologised, "I'm really sorry. I have no filter. My mouth is engaged long before my brain is in gear."

Kris looked at him quickly, a little flushed, and then looked away. "That's okay. I know you were joking." Adam didn't miss the small twitch on the side of Kris' mouth and wondered.

"Oh, I'm perfectly serious about you being my type, it was just inappropriate of me to say anything about it." Adam smiled briefly and Kris smiled back, tentative and shy.

Adam started the car and headed out. The silence was weighted and then Kris asked, curiosity in his voice, "Are you serious about me being your type?"

Adam nearly drove into the back of the car in front of him. He looked over at Kris in astonishment. "Yeah. I meant it, but this isn't the sort of conversation I normally have with straight boys." He shook his head. "You might just be one of a kind, Kris Allen."

Kris grinned at him. "You're sort of pretty, for a guy, I mean." Then he blushed. "Shit. I'm not normally like this either."

Adam took a deep breath. "And on that note, let's talk about the first venue that I'm going to take you to see, okay?"

Kris nodded. "Yeah, probably safest."

_The thunder before lightning and the breath before the phrase _

Adam started telling him about Lobo Castle in Agoura Hills. "It's almost like being in Europe in LA. It's pretty cool and they have their own catering which is great. It's really romantic and it's in the hills which means the views are awesome."

Kris shrugged. "I guess. It sounds pretty." Adam noted the distinct lack of enthusiasm.

They spent the ride over to the castle chatting idly about Kris' work. Adam discovered that Kris liked managing the stationary company but that his true love was music. Adam asked him about what his favourite music was and what he loved playing the most and time sped by until they reached the castle.

Adam couldn't remember spending that much time with someone that he liked and not doing something about it. He wasn't sure what that said about him but he might have sado-masochistic tendencies. But Kris was great fun, smart and snarky and surprisingly erudite about the world in general.

He was suitably impressed with Lobo Castle when they pulled up. "Wow. This is a whole lot more than just pretty," Kris breathed. Adam beamed at him and then waved at the castle director walking down the stairs towards them.

"Melissa!" The tall woman reached them and air-kissed Adam, smiling in pleasure.

"Adam, darling, it's been too long." She looked over at Kris. "The prospective groom, I presume?" At Kris' nod she turned on her tour guide mode, motioning them to follow her as she took them around the castle and then onto the surrounding grounds.

Adam watched Kris the entire time, trying to gauge his reaction. Kris smiled at all the right moments, took photos of everything, complimented the huge garden and courtyard and gazed in appreciation at the mountains in the background.

Melissa eventually finished her sales pitch and then said to Adam, "I'll leave the two of you to wander around by yourselves, shall I? I'll be in my office if you need me or else you can call me later." Adam hugged her and she went back into the castle.

Adam turned back to Kris and saw that he'd wandered over to the big swimming pool. He crouched down and swirled his hand through the bright water and Adam walked over to him.

"So, what do you think?" He asked and Kris looked up, a small grin on his face.

"It's really nice. I like that it's in a garden but it still feels fancy. Katy will like it." He looked down again, following the movement of his hand in the water. "I just don't know if it's me."

Adam sat down on one of the loungers, hands dangling between his knees and asked Kris, "How important is it to you that you absolutely love the venue? Is it more important than Katy loving it?" He cocked his head to one side and stared at Kris, who was resolutely not looking at him. "Kris?"

Kris eventually raised his eyes again and Adam noticed a hesitance, a fear in those pretty brown eyes. "I don't know." He shook his head, "I want her to be happy. I mean, I want to marry Katy. I do." Adam thought it sounded more like Kris was trying to convince himself of it. "It's time, you know? We've been together since we were sixteen so we know that we're right for each other. It's just…" he trailed off.

"Just what?" Adam prompted and Kris shrugged.

"I shouldn't be telling you this sort of stuff. You're my wedding planner, for Pete's sake, not my priest." Kris rolled his shoulders like he was trying to ease tension.

"I can be your friend too." Adam offered softly and watched the flicker of something in Kris' eyes. "If you need one."

Kris rubbed the back of his neck and ducked his head. "You can never have too many friends." He sent a sly look up at Adam. "But that means you'd have to take my side when Katy goes crazy."

Adam laughed and held out a hand. "Deal. Come on, let's head out, there are a couple more places I want to show you."

Kris allowed himself to be hauled to his feet and stumbled a bit, falling against Adam. He stayed there for a moment, pressed close in the late morning sunshine and Adam felt his heart jump.

He was the first to pull away and led them out of the castle grounds, back to the car. "Next stop is The Condor's Nest Ranch," he informed Kris with a grin. "I think this might be more your kind of place."

_Have you ever felt this way?_

 

The Condor's Nest Ranch was also nestled at the foot of the mountains, but there the similarities with Lobo Castle ended. It was rural and rustic and Kris fell in love with it on sight.

Adam watched him spinning in a wide circle, taking in the mountains and the ocean and the forests, all visible in a 360 degree panorama.

"This is insane!" Kris flung his arms open and spun under the sky. "I love this place!"

Adam laughed; Kris looked about ten, eyes bright and smile wide. "I thought you might. It's a 'Kris' place."

Kris raced up to Adam and threw his arms around him in an enthusiastic hug. "It's perfect!" he exclaimed and let Adam go before he even registered that he'd been hugged. Kris was a sneaky little bastard.

Adam quickly realised that Kris had no notion of personal space or boundaries. Kris was the touchy and demonstrative sort and Adam was aching and frustrated and reluctantly charmed.

"It's BYO here." Adam warned and Kris wrinkled his nose.

"BYO?"

"Bring Your Own." Adam explained. "Catering, cutlery, alcohol, we'd have to organise it all ourselves."

"Not a problem" Kris declared and then looked at Adam for confirmation. "Right?"

Adam laughed again. "Right," and flinched as Kris tackle-hugged him again. "Only thing is, this isn't really what Katy was looking for."

Kris shrugged. "I think she'll love it." Privately, Adam doubted it but followed Kris as he enthusiastically took photos of cacti and the ranch house and cottage where people could even stay over for the weekend if they wanted to. He thought Katy might not like the desert. She liked her things pretty and civilized. He could tell.

"Okay," he called eventually. "Let's go. One more place and I think it might tick all of your boxes. Katy's too."

Kris shot him a grin and said, "It can't be better than this." He sounded pretty sure of it and Adam decided to take that as a personal challenge.

"We'll see about that." Adam crooked a finger. "Come on, Happy Gilmore, we're burning daylight." Kris snorted with laughter and they headed out.

_Have you ever hated yourself for staring at the phone?_

Adam knew he'd hit the jackpot as soon as they pulled up at Rancho del Diablo Dormido. Kris' mouth dropped open. The Spanish style mission home roosted proudly on the top of a hill, over looking a huge meadow that looked like something from a fairytale.

"Oh. My. God." Kris breathed and was out of the car before Adam had even pulled to a complete stop. He stood in the middle of the meadow, staring around at the carpet of flowers surrounded by acres of trees. He looked back at Adam. "You were right. This is it."

Adam felt a twinge of sadness but composed his face. "I thought so." He smiled and watched as Kris started snapping shots of the nearby paddocks, the surrounding hills and the sheer beauty of the place.

"It means Ranch of the Sleeping Devil." Kris told him, coming back to stand next to him and they spent a moment, just soaking in the peace.

Adam nodded. "I know." Then his phone rang and he looked at the caller id and pulled a face. "Hey Anoop. How are you?"

"Just making sure you aren't coming down with any sort of disease before Saturday." Anoop replied dryly.

Adam laughed. "I hadn't thought about it but now that you mention it."

Anoop threatened, "I know your mother, dude." And that was really threat enough.

"I hate sports." Adam whined.

"Tough." Anoop said, unmoved. "Baseball barely counts as a sport. Think of the children."

Adam pulled a tongue at the phone and caught Kris staring. He flushed and muttered, "I'd rather just give the children a big fat check and save myself the humiliation of playing a ball sport."

Anoop snorted. "You should be awesome at ball sports. You've had a lot of practise."

"Asshole. I need better friends." Adam noticed Kris waving at him. "Hold on a moment. Yeah?" he asked.

"Are you doing some sort of charity thing on Saturday?" Kris asked.

"Yeah, my friend Anoop has organized a baseball game against a team from a rival company. A rival to his company that his. I've been roped in." He glared down at the phone again. "I'm not sure how this keeps happening."

"Can I come?" The question took Adam by surprise and Kris quickly grabbed his phone with an apologetic quirk of his mouth. "Hi, Anoop? This is Kris Allen. I just wanted to know if you needed more bodies on Saturday." He smiled at whatever Anoop said. "That's great! I'll get the details from Adam then?" He nodded. "Yeah, it was real nice talking to you too." And he handed the phone back to Adam who accepted it in a daze.

"He sounds like a nice guy." Anoop commented.

"He is." Adam said and watched as Kris wandered over towards the nearest paddock. "He's a client."

"Oh." A pause and then Anoop asked, "Is that a problem?"

Adam shook his head. "No. It's only awkward in that I have a raging crush on him but otherwise it's perfectly fine."

Anoop cleared his throat. "When you start with the sarcasm like that then I know it's time to say goodbye." And he hung up. Adam sighed. More time with pretty Kris was not going to help his situation at all.

Kris beamed at him. "I love being involved with charities and stuff like that. I haven't had a chance since we moved here. Thanks man, I appreciate it."

Adam sighed again and then attempted a smile. "That's great. The more the merrier!"

Maybe he wasn't that successful because Kris' face fell. "Oh. Did I horn in on something private?" He sounded as though someone had just killed his puppy and Adam shook his head.

"No. It's good. Really, glad to have you on board." Like mist the sad disappeared and Kris bounced on the balls of his feet as they headed back to the Mustang.

"This has been just an epic day. Found my wedding venue, got a charity baseball game to look forward to," he glanced at Adam out of the corner of his eye, "Made a new friend."

Adam laughed and genially slung an arm over Kris' shoulder. He tucked in against him immediately, completely ignoring any personal space issues. "Stick with me kid, I'll show you signs and wonders."

_Your whole life waiting on the ring to prove you're not alone_

Katy called Adam the next day, babbling with delight. The Ranch was perfect and she asked him to book it for August 23rd. He arranged for a meeting with a bridal boutique for that Saturday after checking with her whether she wanted to join them for the baseball game.

"Oh no! That's not my scene at all!" she told him with a giggle. "Kris is the one who is into the do-gooder stuff. Me, I just like spending money."

Adam had to laugh at her cheerfully mercenary attitude. "So you're okay with Kris coming with me on Saturday and you trying on wedding gowns by yourself?"

She giggled again. "Of course that's fine with me! Keeping my fiancé distracted while I plan the wedding of the year is all part of the wedding planner's official duties."

Adam chuckled. "So I am to be used and abused?"

Her laugh was genuinely pleased, "If you don't mind?"

He said, "I don't mind." Which was sort of a lie but kind of the truth too? He wanted to spend more time with Kris but he knew that if he did, the chances of him getting hurt got exponentially bigger.

He said goodbye to Katy and walked to Neil's office. "Hey, want to go and grab lunch today?"

Neil looked up. "Sorry, bro, no can do, I have back to backs today." Neil was the photographer for 'Leave it to Lambert' and often spent days with couples long before the actual wedding to get candid photos. "I'm actually booked with your people this afternoon," he told Adam.

"Kris and Katy?" Neil nodded and Adam shook his head. "I'm not going to escape him, am I?"

Neil's expression was half sympathy, half taunt. "Not until August, anyway." Adam waved when Neil's phone started ringing and headed out.

Eber bumped into him as he was leaving. "Going anywhere exciting?" he asked.

"Nope." Adam said, "Just going to get something to eat."

"Want some company?" his father asked and Adam nodded.

"Yeah, actually, that would be great." He didn't get the chance to spend one on one time with his dad nearly enough. They wandered down the road to the local market and Adam allowed his father to choose where they would eat. Thai was the selection of the day, they placed their orders and went to sit at one of the tables in the small courtyard.

"So, why the long face?" Eber never beat around the bush with his sons He hadn't since the day he had caught Adam looking at gay porn on the internet at fourteen. He'd always said that keeping up with his kids required honesty, intelligence and balls of steel. Neil had always said that two out of three wasn't bad.

Adam propped his chin on his hand and eyed his father. "Have you ever wanted something you know you can't have?" he asked.

Eber nodded. "Often. It's called envy, avarice, being human. Take your pick."

Adam grinned and tried again. "What about wanting _someone_ you know you can't have?"

Eber took a sip of his iced tea and pursed his mouth. "On a scale of one to ten, how unavailable?"

Adam frowned. "About a ten. He's getting married. To a girl." Their food arrived and they spent the next few minutes eating.

Eber pointed at him with a fork. "Is he gay? Or at least bi?"

Adam shrugged. "I have no idea. My gaydar is on the fritz according to everyone. I wouldn't have a clue." He smiled. "He likes me though."

Eber shook his head. "That doesn't count, son, everyone likes you."

Adam beamed at his father. He took these sorts of moments and hoarded them away like diamonds to bring out and polish every now and then. They were that rare. "Thanks Dad."

Eber waved it away. "Let's focus on the issue at hand. You have the hots for a guy who is getting married to a girl and you're not sure what to do because you don't know if he's gay or not?"

Adam grimaced, put like that it sounded a little pathetic. "Yeah."

Eber glared at him. "What is it with you? You always fall for the wrong guys."

Adam thanked God every day for the acceptance he received from his parents. They spoke about his boyfriends with the same reverence (or disdain) as they spoke about Neil's girlfriends. In their minds, there was no difference.

"I can't help it. He's gorgeous and sweet and funny and a little snarky and you're going to be nuts about him about two minutes after meeting him." Adam knew his father. He'd never completely warmed to Brad but he had tried very hard. He would really like Kris though. "Why don't you come to the game on Saturday? You can meet him then."

Eber raised an eyebrow. "He's going to Anoop's charity game?"

Adam nodded. "It was awesome. He sort of invited himself. I don't know of anyone else who has just steamrolled Anoop like that."

Eber laughed. "Then I definitely have to meet this paragon of manhood"

Adam laughed too. "You'd better be prepared to play though. Anoop takes no prisoners."

Eber smiled evilly. "Your preppy friend doesn't know who he's dealing with. He'd better not try to outwit me. I am an anarchist."

Adam rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I don't know of any anarchists who wear pure wool suits and silk ties."

Eber raised his upper lip in a snarl. "I'm in disguise. That's how you fool the Man, by pretending to _be_ the Man."

Adam stood up and tossed his containers in the trash. "You carry on telling yourself that. I don't know who is more pathetic, you trying to relive the seventies or Neil's feud with the LA Times."

Eber laughed. "Oh, Neil is _way_ more pathetic than me, my boy. I know my limitations and fight my battles in secret. Your brother however, hangs his ass out to dry in public, all the time."

They walked back to the office, discussing Neil's latest tirade to the city newspaper about the times set aside for street cleaning. It was another fight that Neil was bound to lose. Adam relished it.


	2. Chapter 2

_Have you ever been touched so gently you had to cry?_

The hoped for tsunami hadn't hit by Saturday morning and Adam dragged himself out of bed.

Brad and Cassidy arrived at eight and they all went downstairs to collect Neil who bitched the entire time. Adam eventually told him, "Dick. Shut the fuck up. Its morning for all of us. Deal with it."

Brad piped up from the back seat, sprawled against Cass. "Yes, Neil. Deal with it. After all, it's for the children." And they all cracked up laughing semi-hysterically. It was going to be a fucking long day.

The baseball field was crowded by the time they arrived. Adam spotted Allison's fire red hair with his father long before he heard her raucous laughter. Anoop and Megan were standing near the bleachers, talking to Danny and Kris.

Adam told his traitorous heart to stop bouncing around in his chest like some over-eager kid. Kris was out of bounds, unsuitable, unavailable and getting married in a few months to a Barbie doll pretty girl he happened to like.

Then Kris spotted him and smiled and waved and Adam forgot all of his intentions. Kris was just too gorgeous for Adam's own good. He waved back and Brad murmured, "Oh petal, I see the dilemma. He's adorable. Just look at that mouth." This of course made it impossible for Adam to look anywhere else.

Kris jogged over to Adam, face shining. "Isn't this cool?" His enthusiasm was infectious.

He hugged Adam unselfconsciously and Adam kept his own hands resolutely by his side. When Kris released him he said, "Hi Kris, I'd like you to meet a couple of my friends." The introduction to Brad and Cassidy felt like an important moment to Adam. He would be able to tell a lot about Kris from his reaction to these two. "Brad, Cass, this is Kris, a client and a new friend."

Brad sidled up to Kris, eyes narrowed. "Well, hello there, Kris." The greeting was weighted but Kris missed the undertones, or perhaps just ignored them, and shook his hand. Cass was a little better behaved and Kris shook his hand too.

Adam was delighted and impressed at the distinct lack of judgement in Kris' face on meeting the couple. It seemed that Kris really was perfect. Well, this was his life and most days it sucked. No expectation of anything being different today.

"Nice to meet you both." Kris nodded to Neil. "Hey man, good to see you again. Thanks for the other day with the photos. Katy had a lot of fun."

Neil nodded back. "It's my job. Glad I could help." Adam wondered exactly what had happened in the session but was resolved not to ask.

Anoop came over, Allison and Megan in tow. "Hi you guys, good to see you made it." He looked at Adam, a smirk on his face, and asked, "No war paint, Lambert?"

Adam sniffed. "It is far too early to be awake and beautiful at the same time. You take what you get."

Anoop looked over at Brad and Cassidy who were chatting with Neil and Kris. "He's a nice guy, your Kris."

Adam sighed. "He's not _my_ Kris. He's Katy's Kris, but yeah, he's pretty awesome."

"Hey Lame-bert!" Danny clapped Adam on the back and nearly sent him flying. "Good to see you out here, supporting the kids, it's the least you can do."

Adam stumbled back upright and glared at Danny. "You just have to start with me, don't you?" Adam had a sort of love-hate relationship with Danny. It involved Danny loving him and him hating Danny most of the time.

He'd once asked Anoop whether Danny had any gay in him but Anoop had just laughed and told him that it was his fault he was so irresistible. Adam hadn't bothered answering that.

Danny grinned. "I'm impressed. Its daylight and you haven't gone up in flames yet."

Adam growled, "Well, I've had my weekly quota of blood, although if you're offering, I do need a date for tonight to the Marquis de Sade Ball." He was rewarded with Danny paling and backing off and Anoop coughing into his hand.

He felt warmth at his side and looked down to see Kris plastered up against him, eyes dark and narrowed on Danny. "Hey, Anoop, Brad wants to know if they can use the locker room to change into their uniforms." He kept his gaze on Danny though and Adam felt a bit like a princess being rescued from a dragon. St George in this case was pint-sized with messy brown hair and chocolate eyes.

Then he registered what Kris had asked and looked over at his friends. "We have uniforms?" He'd obviously missed that memo.

Brad grinned sunnily. "Well, angel pie, Cass and I do. We decided that if we're being forced to participate in the manliness," he glared over at Anoop who smiled lazily, "we at least had to dress the part." Anoop gestured to the change rooms and they traipsed off.

"Do I want to know?" Anoop asked, face a little worried, and Adam shook his head, shrugging.

"I have no idea what they've planned. With those two it's sure to be …interesting." Kris chuckled at his comment but still hadn't moved. Adam decided that it was going to be up to him to maintain some sort of distance. "Have we decided who is batting first?" Distraction usually worked.

Anoop nodded. "Yeah, Danny's team are up first. We're in the field."

Adam was suddenly tackled by a little body with swirling scarlet hair. "Adam! Dude!" Allison tended to do everything at full speed and top volume.

He hugged her back. "Hey baby girl. You look gorgeous. I'm loving the hair."

She kissed him noisily, twirled to let him admire her, and then her eyes slid to Kris. "Hey there? Are you with Adam?"

Kris nodded. "Hi yourself, and yeah, I'm with Adam. My name is Kris."

Alli's eyes turned sly. "Hell-oo Kris." She turned back to Adam. "He's cute. Your taste is improving."

Adam could feel the flushing spreading on his cheeks. "Kris isn't _with me_ with me, Alli-cat. He's a friend."

Alli's face dropped. "Oh. Bummer. I was hoping that you'd ended your self-imposed man-drought." It was times like these that Adam wished for friends who had private thoughts that they didn't feel the need to share with everyone around them.

Fortunately Brad and Cassidy chose that moment to emerge from the locker rooms, dressed in the shortest shorts and tightest vests he'd ever seen. The laughter and applause started a moment later and the two show-offs bowed and played to the crowd.

"Oh my god." Adam looked down at Kris who was staring at them, wide-eyed and fascinated. "I don't think I've seen guys …" he waved a hand at them with a laugh.

"Yeah," Adam said, "they're a trip alright." He shook his head. He really needed a new circle of friends.

"Okay everybody, let's play ball!" Anoop called and motioned for everyone to take their positions.

Adam allowed himself to be pushed to part of the field between two bases and stood there like a lump. "What am I supposed to do here?" he whined.

"Catch the fucking ball if it comes your way." Anoop told him and headed to the pitcher's mound. First ball came bulleting straight for him and he ducked. Allison shouted at him and raced after it.

"What?" he asked, holding his hands out. "It was a fucking missile! I would have broken my hand!" Anoop just shook his head and threw again. This time the ball headed for Brad who turned his back to the field so that his entire butt, hanging out of those ridiculous shorts, flashed everyone. The runner heading for first base stopped and stared and Brad managed to toss the ball to Megan on first who called him out.

Adam started laughing his head off.

About twenty minutes later, the bases were loaded and Danny came up to bat. He pointed his bat at Adam who rolled his eyes and crossed his arms. The crack of bat on ball sent everyone scrambling across the field.

Adam saw the ball heading for him as though in slow motion and he put his hands up to try and catch it. A hand reached up in front of him and snagged the ball out of the air. Kris hurled the ball at home base and the third out was called.

Adam looked at Kris. "You saved me again. This is becoming a habit."

Kris smiled up at him, eyes twinkling. "You belong to me, remember? I'm just taking care of my property." Something about those words, uttered by that mouth, in that voice, did something to Adam. He tried not to think too hard about that.

"Property, huh?" What he intended to sound arch came out as serious. Kris stilled, smile freezing on his face and Adam tried to make a joke of it, "I guess you get what you pay for. You'd better check on the return policy."

Kris just looked at him, mouth serious and then said, soft and rough. "Yeah, I guess I would, if I thought I'd been short-changed at all." When Adam thought back on it that was the moment he fell in love with Kris.

_Have you ever invited a stranger to come inside?_

Life became a little more complicated for Adam after that day. Kris and Adam's friends clicked. Despite the fact that Kris was obviously more conservative, more right wing, more middle-American than Brad, Cass or Allison, they all loved him. It seemed as though he was just as crazy about them.

Kris started spending all his spare time with Adam and his friends. If Katy was busy with a dress fitting or a flower selection, then Kris came over and hung with Adam or Neil, talking music with one and politics with the other.

More often than not, they would head out to a coffee shop or diner and meet up with one or more of his other friends and it was amazing at how quickly and easily Kris had slid into his spot in Adam's life. It was also fairly terrifying.

Anoop and Kris had bonded over money and business and figures. Megan and Kris had connected over Ryder, her son, Kris was great with kids, and art. Cassidy liked Kris' sense of humour and they often exchanged stupid jokes, trying to one-up each other in varying degrees of corniness.

Kris and Allison, well that had been love at first sight. Her claim was that at least there were one more of the little people in their group. Adam just shook his head at the sight of the two of them, sharing a cup of coffee because neither wanted to drink a whole cup by themselves because, _hey man, it's caffeine and it's like seriously bad for you when you mainline it like you do_.

Adam had tried hard not to find that adorable. And failed.

But it was Kris' connection with Brad that fascinated Adam the most. What should have been the least likely friendship became the one that grew the fastest, after their own.

Kris somehow **just** got Brad. Like very few people ever did. And Brad simply liked Kris from the word go. Brad's was the first number, after Adam's, that Kris programmed into his mobile that first Saturday and it never failed to amaze Adam to hear them talking to one another.

It was May and spring in LA and Adam was spinning. Heading for June, the busiest time of year for bridal companies, he barely had a moment to breathe. The arrangements for Kris and Katy's wedding were pretty much done but there were plenty of other blushing brides and grooms to keep him busy.

Katy called him one afternoon, her normally cheerful voice subdued. "Hi Adam, I hope I'm not calling at a bad time?"

Adam grunted, "Sweetheart, this time of year, anytime is a bad time, but I've always got time for you." He'd grown very fond of Katy and if she wasn't marrying the man of his dreams, he'd probably even love her, but she was, so he didn't. "What's up?"

Katy sighed. "Maybe I'm imagining things, but I've noticed that Kris doesn't seem very enthusiastic about the wedding. You've become friends, have you noticed anything?"

Adam prayed for guidance but eventually had to rely on himself. "Honey, that's the normal bridegroom 'thing'. They really don't want to know that your dress will have 500 yards of lace and 300 hand-sewn beads. They want to be able to show up on the day, say 'I do' and eat cake." He chuckled, "It's cliché but true, the day is all about you, my lovely."

She grumbled, "But he's doing nothing." Adam didn't say anything and she sighed again, this time with a little more melodrama. "Fine. I'll do everything."

"Hey!" Adam protested, "What am I, chopped liver?" She giggled and then asked him for the names for some underwear shops. He tried not to think about why she wanted to go there.

Yeah, being friends with Kris Allen was a lot of trouble. But he wouldn't have changed one moment.

He got home late one Friday night after overseeing a small, intimate wedding and reception on his own. It had been an older couple so the vows had been more realistic, the romance toned down. Adam had enjoyed himself but he was exhausted and all he wanted to do was crash.

Kris, sitting outside his apartment door, was an unexpected sight. "Kris? What are you doing here?"

Kris stood slowly, hands tucked into the front pockets of distractingly tight jeans. "I didn't know where else to go," he confessed, voice scratchy and tired.

Adam opened his door and ushered Kris in, immediately in nurturing mode. He pushed Kris to the sofa and went to the kitchen to get Kris a beer and a glass of wine for himself. Once he'd given Kris his beer, he settled down on the sofa next to him and ordered, "Right, talk."

Kris huffed out a breath and rolled the cold beer bottle across his forehead. "Man, this wedding thing is driving me crazy. Me and Katy just had the biggest fight and it was about the smallest thing." He closed his eyes and took a long pull of the beer. "I just don't get why the fabric of the bridesmaid dresses must be bubblegum pink and not milkshake pink, when they both look exactly the same."

Adam opened his mouth to protest this and Kris rumbled warningly, without opening his eyes, "Shut the fuck up. They are the same fucking colour." Adam closed his mouth again and Kris continued, "Just because I don't care about the colour of the dresses doesn't mean that I don't care about the wedding, does it?" He opened his eyes again and looked at Adam. "Or have I missed a whole chapter in the "Bride of Chucky" manual?"

Adam started laughing. "Oh, baby, they all get like that, trust me. If there is one certainty in this world, it is that every woman, no matter how nice and sweet and kind you think she is, turns into a monster when it comes to her wedding." He patted Kris' arm. "It will pass."

"When?" Kris' pathetic question was accompanied by puppy-dog eyes and not even Adam was immune to that.

"When the wedding is over," he assured Kris and pulled him into a comforting hug.

Kris moaned into Adam's shirt. "That's like a century away. One of us will be dead before that."

Adam rubbed his back soothingly and Kris twitched under his hands. "It will fly by, honey, and before you know it, you'll be Mrs. Katy Allen."

Kris pinched the small roll of skin at Adam's stomach. "You're an asshole and I want a new wedding planner."

Adam's skin was still jumping with sparks from that small touch and forced himself to concentrate. "I can ask my mother to take over."

Kris lifted his head, stared straight at Adam and said, "Not in a million. I only want you." And then stopped. Adam froze as well.

"That's what all the pretty boys say." Adam tried to laugh it off and stopped at the intensity in Kris' eyes.

"I mean it, Adam. Since you've come into my life, things have changed. _I've_ changed." Kris put up one shaking hand and touched Adam's face softly. It felt like butterfly wings across his cheek and the bridge of his nose and then the press of fingers against his mouth. "I've wondered…" Kris murmured and Adam stood up and moved away.

"Kris, you're my friend, but you can't do this. You're getting married in a few months to a lovely girl who I happen to like very much." Adam wrapped his arms around his waist and looked at Kris in misery. "I'm not going to be _that_ guy."

Kris stood up and walked to him. Adam backed up until he was plastered up against the wall and still Kris advanced. "I don't know about anything any more. I feel like I'm living the wrong life. All I know is that when I'm with you, that panic, that fear, it all goes away."

Adam felt his heart break a little at Kris' words. "I'm sorry you're so uncertain. That must suck beyond belief. But honey, I can't be the answer to your crisis. You need to figure that out for yourself."

Kris nodded slowly. "Yeah, maybe you're right but I think I need to make sure of one thing first." He reached up and kissed Adam, slow, sure and sensual.

Adam felt like he was drowning in sensation. He felt both too big to fit in his skin and too small to wear his clothes. The only thing he was sure of was the taste of Kris' mouth. It was heaven and hell and purgatory combined and he wanted it to go on forever.

Eventually Kris pulled away, his mouth damp and shiny and nearly irresistible. "I thought so," he mumbled and took a step back.

"Thought what?" Adam asked, brain barely functioning.

"I thought that your mouth would taste like forever." Kris smiled sadly at him. "It does." He turned and walked to the front door. "You're an amazing man, Adam Lambert, and I think I just might be falling a little bit in love with you." He left Adam standing there, shocked and shaken and staggered.

_It's only half past the point of oblivion_

June came and brought the rain and the heat and the crazy. It was traditional wedding month for brides across America and Adam and his family were kept on the go almost 24-7. Adam was eternally grateful because it kept him from thinking about Kris. And that Kris had kissed him.

The plans for the Allen-O'Connell wedding were in limbo while the Lamberts struggled to get through hell month, so Adam hadn't seen or spoken to Katy since the day in May when she'd called him.

Her phone call took him by surprise. "Adam, I really want to know what you said to Kris the last time you talked." Her voice was low and a little nasty and Adam stared at the phone like it was a scorpion.

"Pardon me?" he asked, "I haven't spoken to Kris in more than a week." It had been closer to two weeks since Kris had dropped the bombshell in his apartment, but who was counting?

"He told me that he's not sure he wants to get married anymore." The anger had leeched out of her voice and she now just sounded sad and lost. Adam felt really bad for her.

"Honey, I'm just the wedding planner. You'd be better off asking Kris what's going on." He didn't want to get in the middle of this. "Like I said, we haven't talked in a while; things have been little nuts around here."

She sniffled and then said, "Okay then, I'm sorry for going all Bridezilla on you. Thanks for letting me be a bitch and not calling me on it." Her voice was watery and miserable. "I'll try Kris again, but he's really being difficult."

Adam said his goodbyes, told her they'd get together in early July to finalise everything, and then the insanity caught up with him again and he put the conversation firmly out of his mind.

Brad came to collect him for lunch and they went to the organic food store down the road and ordered vegetarian pasta. Once they'd paid for their food, they moved to one of the small tables on the patio outside the store and watched the people walking by.

It was a favourite activity of theirs to guess what these strangers did for a living, if they were married, had kids, were gay or straight. Brad wanted the whole world to be gay so he was pretty insistent that most were gay. The server brought them their food and they indulged in people-watching.

Adam watched a woman and man strolling arm in arm down the street. "Couple," he announced, "not long together though."

"Gay and beard." Brad insisted and then groused when the two stopped and shared a passionate kiss that no beard would ever give her gay pal. "Fuck."

Adam laughed. "Not everyone in WeHo is gay, Bradley. There are still some straight people left here."

Brad waved an airy hand. "Well, then they should get the fuck out of here. It's our turf, bitch."

Adam shook his head. "I just wish my own personal gaydar worked better."

Brad quirked an eyebrow at him and asked, "Anything I should know about?"

Adam shrugged. "Kris kissed me. And then he said that he might be falling in love with me." He'd held that particular morsel of information close for the past two weeks, hoarding it like treasure.

Brad gaped." Oh.My.God. and you're only telling me now because?"

"Because I'm only telling you now." Adam felt his lip jut out in a pout. "I'm still processing it, to be honest."

Brad's hands flailed as he declared, "And so you should! This is huge. Your straight is actually spaghetti in hot water."

Adam looked at him in confusion. "What?"

Brad explained, "Some people are straight until they meet the right person of the same sex then they're like spaghetti hitting hot water, they bend like a noodle."

Adam nearly choked on his chai tea. "Where the fuck do you get this shit?" he asked Brad who shrugged.

"I go out, meet new people, make new friends." He frowned at Adam. "You should try it sometime."

Adam thought about that for a moment and said, "You know, you're right. I haven't actually been out on the town for ever. I need to get laid if nothing else."

Brad looked at him doubtfully. "You're not the casual kind, sugarlips. You need to be in love and committed before you fuck."

Adam smiled grimly. "Maybe it's about fucking time I tried to just have a little fun, instead of looking for true love."

Brad shrugged with one shoulder. "Okay then, why don't you come out with Cass and I on Friday? We're going to try out that hot new club on Sunset."

Adam asked, "What new club?"

"It's called the Dungeon or some melodramatic shit. It's had some good reviews from some of the queens in my dance class."

Adam nodded slowly. "That sounds just about right for what I need."

Brad stood and tossed his food container in the nearby trash can. He leaned down and kissed Adam on the cheek. "It's your funeral, flower. We'll collect you at ten pm and dress appropriately please."

Adam was curious. "What's appropriate?"

Brad smiled, all teeth. "You're either a top or a bottom. I know you're a top, sweet thing, so leather and a whip wouldn't be out of place."

Adam groaned. "Why do I do these things to myself?"

"We can always forget about it and you can go back to yearning after your pretty straight. And he's adorable by the way, if he wasn't breaking your heart I would adore him unreservedly."

Adam appreciated the loyalty. "He's a good guy, don't give him a hard time just because I have a hard-on for him."

Brad stroked a gentle hand over Adam's cheek. "I can't. It's second nature to put you before everyone else." He smiled a little wanly. "It's taken me two fucking years to find someone who is even remotely as fabulous as you are."

Adam smiled up at him. "If it's any consolation, Kris is the first guy since you that I have even had any interest in."

Brad shook off the melancholy with a shimmy and replied archly, "I am irreplaceable; it's perfectly understandable that you've been looking for perfection. But a straight boy isn't it, my heart."

Adam nodded. "Yeah, I know. So, ten pm Friday?"

Brad grinned. "Put your glitter and your platforms on, bitch, we are going to party hard." He gave a little wave and sashayed away, aware that most eyes in the restaurant were on him in his tight Lycra pants and short sparkling waistcoat. It was most likely the beret with the black veil that drew their attention though. Adam shook his head. Some days he really missed the lunacy of his life with Brad.

_The hourglass on the table The walk before the run_

Adam knew as soon as he walked into the club that it wasn't his scene. It had been, once, a long time ago when he'd just come out and felt a need to prove just _how_ gay he was.

Now, comfortable in his skin, the meat market that these places inevitably were, held no real attraction for him anymore. The same could not be said for the pair champing at the bit by his side.

"Oh for fuck's sake, get lost, I don't need a babysitter." He scowled at Brad and Cassidy who looked insultingly concerned. "Go!" he insisted, "I'll be fine." Taking him at his word, they bounded into the throb of bodies on the crowded dance floor.

Adam decided that he would need a whole lot more alcohol in his system before he would join them so he headed for the bar.

An hour later, the skinny man chatting to Adam had oddly fascinating hair. It was like road kill that he couldn't look away from. The guy, his name was Tommy, talked animatedly about poetry and music and Adam tried to focus.

Brad sidled up to him and hissed, "You can do so fucking much better!" and waltzed off again

Tommy asked, "Is that your boyfriend?"

"Ex," Adam told him, "He and his boyfriend brought me here tonight."

Tommy grinned. "I came with some friends too. I think they think I'm gay which is why we ended up here."

Adam looked him over, eyeliner, mascara and lipstick, dressed in a tight tee and tighter jeans and said dryly, "I have no idea why they think that."

Missing the sarcasm entirely, Tommy leaned closer. "I know, right? I mean, it's pretty obvious that boobs and pussy are my thing."

That's when Adam decided to call it a night. He caught Brad's eye and pointed to the door. The snarl on his ex's face was enough to scare small children, but he'd had enough.

By the time he'd shoved his way to the front door, Brad and Cassidy were waiting for him.

"You didn't even give it a chance!" Brad accused. Cass just kept quiet, wisely.

Adam glared at him. "You saw what I was stuck with! Can you blame me?"

Cass started laughing. "I don't know what it is about you, Adam, but you certainly are a troll magnet."

"Hey!" Brad shoved him indignantly. "Watch what you're saying, Mr. Man or you'll be sleeping on the sofa tonight." He looked over at Tommy who was still holding up the bar counter. "What's up with the hair though?"

Adam flung his arms out. "See! That's what I'm saying! All the guys in the club and I end up with the straight guy with skunk hair!" Brad and Cassidy were leaning against each other, wheezing with laughter.

Adam glared at them and then started laughing too. What else was he supposed to do? "I am out of here. I'm too old for this scene."

Brad rolled his eyes. "Fine, go home to your pipe and slippers, old man. Just remember, the guy you're busy falling in love with is straight and about to get married." His face grew serious and he touched Adam's arm. "I don't want you to get hurt."

Adam grimaced. "I've been hurt before and I'm still alive."

Cassidy looked at him and asked, "But are you living?"

Adam just stared at him. Yeah, that was a question. Was he just alive or was he actually _living_?

Brad reached up and pecked him on the cheek. "Goodnight, honey. I'll call you in the week for lunch."

Adam nodded, hugged Cass and left, slightly dazed.

_The breath before the kiss And the fear before the flames_

The next time he saw Kris again was the second week in July when he'd arranged for a walk-through at the venue for the couple.

Katy hugged him when she saw him and Kris shook his hand and Adam wondered if he had imagined that kiss. The only thing that made him realise that Kris remembered the kiss was that he avoided looking directly at Adam for most of the afternoon.

He'd packed a picnic lunch for the three of them and they were sitting on a blanket in the middle of the field of flowers at Rancho del Diablo Dormido. He'd poured the couple a glass of chardonnay each and they were snacking on cheese and crackers with some of the grapes from the local vineyards.

Katy was babbling excitedly, everything had been laid out for them so that she could get the full effect of what everything was going to be like. "I am so happy! I can't believe you've got everything so perfect." She grabbed Adam's hand. "Thank you, so much."

He smiled at her. "It's my job, sweetie, and as I've told you before, I'm really good at it." He slid his eyes towards Kris who was staring stubbornly down at the glass in his hand, still concentrating on avoiding his eyes.

"I'm going to let you two enjoy your meal together. I've got some stuff to go and sort out so I'll meet you back at the car in an hour." He stood up and walked up to the main house, intent on burying himself in wedding plans and forgetting about the cute boy who really didn't seem to want him after all.

He found himself out by the paddocks about half an hour later. There were three horses munching lazily on a bale of hay at the far end of the paddock, but one, a big black, sauntered over when Adam came near. A soft wicker and a softer nose pressed into his hand and he froze. He liked the idea of horses but the reality of them was a little larger than he'd expected. They looked a lot smaller from a distance.

"It's a gelding." Kris spoke from behind him and the horse lifted his head.

Adam didn't turn but stroked the soft nose nuzzling his hand. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Kris moved up next to him and leaned against the railing, one foot propped up on a log. "Thought you were working," He sounded diffident, casual as though the answer wasn't important.

"I finished up quicker than I thought I would." Adam answered. "Why aren't you with Katy?"

Kris shuffled closer, elbow and shoulder aligning with Adam's. "She fell asleep, so I let her. She's been pretty tired with all the wedding stuff. I thought she could do with the break." Again his tone was casual, but the heat spreading all along Adam's arm was anything but.

"Kris, " Adam could hear his voice, low and desperate and asking for …what? "What are you doing here?"

"I'm just standing here, shooting the breeze with my friend." Kris replied.

Adam turned to look straight at him, mouth tight. "You're not being kind."

Kris' face fell. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm trying to juggle so much right now that if I drop one ball, it feels as though my life is going to fall apart." Kris reached out to stroke the horse as well, fingers tangling with Adam's in a stolen movement.

"Drop _this_ ball. This 'flirting with Adam is okay' ball," Adam was fierce as he spoke. "I can't deal with it. I like Katy, I'm a little stupid crazy for you, but I can't deal with it all. It's wrong."

Kris nodded, his mouth drooping a bit. "I know. I want to say something to Katy but then I think about how she'll feel and how her father will feel and then I start to hyperventilate and then I almost pass out and…" He started taking sharp shallow breaths and seemed set for a full blown anxiety attack.

Adam put an arm around Kris. "Breathe, baby, breathe." In a heartbeat he'd forgotten all his well-practised arguments and his first instinct was to comfort.

Kris turned and tucked himself up against Adam, head snugged in the hollow of Adam's neck and breathed. Adam could feel him inhale and gust out hot damp breaths until the jagged sounds calmed and eventually it was just Adam holding Kris and Kris cuddling up to Adam.

"I like this." Kris murmured, the words a hot damp sigh across Adam's throat. "I like the feeling that you'd fight dragons to take care of me."

Adam laughed, slightly bitterly. "Right, just call me George." He was mentally berating himself for letting this happen.

"George." Kris muttered. "I like that. I can call you George and you can call me baby." Adam wondered if Kris was even hearing himself talk. Somehow he doubted it.

"Kris, I need you to let go of me know." Adam tried to pry himself away but Kris was like crazy glue. He was sticking.

"I don't want to," he said, bottom lip jutting out in an irresistible pout. "I like havin' your arms around me." He lifted his head and looked straight at Adam. "I like you. A lot."

Adam was undone. He bent down and kissed Kris, took the mouth he was offered like he owned it. Kris leaned in and then bent, pliant, malleable and kissed him back.

His brain must have shorted because he wasn't aware of anything else around him but the man he was kissing. Kris' mouth was a banquet and Adam was a starving man who'd been invited to feast.

Kris opened up so beautifully, his lips fitting Adam's as though made for them and his arms tightened around Adam's waist, holding on like he was the rope that kept him from falling.

"What the hell is going on here?" Katy's shocked voice made them jump apart. Adam saw Kris' face flush in shame as he backed away from Adam.

"Kris?" Katy stared at Kris, eyes wide and mouth wobbling. "What..? Why..?" She turned to Adam, tears spilling over down her cheeks. "Adam?"

Adam stood there, mute and shaking. It felt like the worst moment of his entire life. He felt like the worst sort of human being.

Katy spun on her heels and ran, sobbing towards the car. Kris suddenly mobilised and raced after her. Adam wondered slightly hysterically if either of them remembered that they'd come with him, in his car and that there was no other way back to LA.

He followed after them slowly, heart heavy and saw them as he came around the corner, Katy shouting something, arms folded protectively around her waist. Kris was pleading with her, hands outstretched but she wasn't letting him near her.

When he finally reached them, Katy looked at him, face blotchy from crying, eyes poisonous. "You're the one who did this to him!" she accused. "You've turned him into something perverse and horrible."

Adam held out one hand warningly. "Katy, don't go any further with that." He wasn't going to let her make him the only one to blame here. "You have to know, this wasn't planned, wasn't wanted. It happened, but it wasn't perverted." He shook his head. "You were quite happy to have my 'perverse' skills in planning your wedding."

Katy screamed, "You turned my fiancé into a fucking faggot!" and then clapped her hands in front of her mouth with a gasp, eyes huge with shock.

Adam staggered back, he felt like someone had just stabbed him. He looked over at Kris, who stood there, silent, helpless, letting him deal with the fallout. He glanced back at Katy whose face was white with disbelief and apology.

"I'm **so** sorry Adam!" she sobbed, "I've never said anything that awful in my whole life. I'm such a terrible person."

Kris walked to her and put his arms around her. "No, angel, it's not your fault. You've just had such a big shock. I'm sure Adam knows you didn't mean it." He looked over at Adam who was still standing there, broken.

Adam found his voice, "Sure. I understand, I'm sorry you saw that, it really didn't mean anything. We all say and do things in the heat of the moment that we regret." He sent a glance to Kris, struggling to keep his composure, bleeding from the inside out. "I think I'll take the car back to LA and call you guys a limousine or a cab." He dug his keys out of his pocket and walked blindly to the driver's door.

He looked at Katy once again, weeping in Kris' arms. He looked at Kris, shook his head. "I'm sorry Katy. I'll completely understand if you don't want to carry on with our company and refund you everything you've spent. I'll let you make the call." He climbed in the car, noticing absently that his hand shook as he put the keys in the ignition.

Kris suddenly appeared by his window. "Are you okay to drive?" His question was soft, almost apologetic.

Adam stared at him, stared through him. "What do you care?" He pulled the car door closed and drove off.

He dialled Neil. "I need you to arrange for a car to collect Kris and Katy at Rancho del Diablo."

"What's wrong?" Years of reading Adam's voice and expressions alerted Neil. "What happened?"

"Nothing. They'll either take their business somewhere else or Mom will have to take over." He heard the calm in his tone from a distance. "I'm going to take the rest of the week off." He hit end on the sound of Neil shouting at him. He didn't want to deal with anyone in his family right now.

His second call was to Brad. "I need you," was all he said.

Brad said, "Come." And that was all Adam **had** to say.

_Have you ever felt this way?_

By the time he pulled up in front of Brad and Cassidy's condo, he was shaking so hard he thought that he might just shake apart molecule by molecule.

Brad was waiting at the entrance and ran out when he saw him, Cassidy following after. He pulled opened the car door and tugged Adam out. "Take the car to the garage," he told Cass and wrapped a slender arm around Adam's waist. "Come on, petal, let's get you into a bath with a nice big glass of wine."

Adam allowed himself to be led docilely into the elevator and into the apartment. He let Brad push him gently down on the sofa while he went to run the bath water. He took the glass of wine that Cass gave him and even drank a few sips when bidden. He obediently pulled his boots off and let Cass and Brad undress him and help him into the steaming bath.

He sat there, silent, trembling and then looked up at Brad. "She called me a fucking faggot," he told him bleakly and Brad's face went red with fury.

"I will kill that bitch!" Cass put a restraining hand on Brad's shoulder. "What did Kris say?" Brad looked hopeful. "Did he say something? Did he call Katy out? He said something, right?" Brad sounded almost desperate and Adam shook his head.

"No. He didn't. He stood there and then he told Katy that it was okay and she didn't mean it and it wasn't her fault." He blinked, focused on Brad's worried face. "Why didn't he tell her not to call me a fucking faggot? Why did he let her call me a pervert?" he thought he heard a child crying and only when he tasted the salt on his lips did he realise that it was him.

"Adam?" Brad was saying something but he looked so very far away suddenly. "Adam!" Brad was shouting at Cassidy, "Call fucking 911! He's going into some kind of shock! Adam! Adam! Stay with me you fucker! Adam!"

He woke up to Brad staring down at him, eyes tired and face pinched. "Don't do that to me ever again, you fuck," he snarled but with no heat. His hands were soft as he touched Adam's cheek. "How do you feel?"

Adam grimaced, his body felt achy and bruised. "Like someone rode over me with a truck," he tried jokingly but Brad wasn't interested.

"I have never been so freaked out. You were there and then you were gone." He shuddered, absently petting Adam for assurance. "It was like a light went off and you weren't home. You just sat there, you didn't move, didn't say anything." He shook his head and wiped at his eyes. "I thought you were dying."

Adam pushed up, arms quaking and wrapped them around that skinny, beloved body. "I'm okay. I'm okay. I'm okay." They rocked together for a while, Brad shaking in his arms.

A little later, Cass poked his head in and looked at the mess of them. He smiled, sweetly and said, "You should get some rest now, pet. Panic attacks can really take it out of you. Stay here tonight, you can go home in the morning if you want."

Adam nodded his thanks. "I don't know how to thank you guys for being here for me," he began.

Brad hissed, "You'd better stop right there. There is _nothing_ to say thank you for. You are fucking family. I…we…would die for you, we'd kill for you." He stopped and narrowed his eyes. "You give the word and Kris is dead."

Adam chuckled weakly, "Don't worry about it. He's not worth the jail time." They kissed him softly and left Adam alone with his thoughts. He really didn't want to be alone with the insanity in his brain right then.

He lay back and closed his eyes and tried not to think of Katy screaming at him and Kris looking at him and saying nothing. He felt the panic well up again as he remembered Kris hugging Katy and making his choice crystal clear as he let Adam take the blame for the whole fiasco. The burning in his chest made him gasp and gulp for air and he felt something crack and bleed inside and he wept.

_There you are, sitting in the garden, clutching my coffee_

He tried to go home the next day. Leila and Eber, however, collected him and brought him back home with them. After the over-exaggerated account Brad gave, with a few choice embellishments from Cassidy, they wouldn't allow him to do anything for the rest of the week, which got pretty old pretty quickly. Eventually he made Eber bring him his laptop at least and he spent some time catching up on emails and accounts.

When the mail from Katy popped into his mailbox, he hesitated to open it, but eventually, after giving himself a stern talking to, he read the message.

_Hi Adam, I'm probably the very last person you want to hear from right now but I have to tell you, to let you know how sorry I am for what I said to you. I like you so much but my only excuse is that I was stunned at what I saw and lashed out at the most available target, you._

Kris told me about how you kept trying to keep him at a distance and that he is the one who initiated everything. I am so angry and hurt and disappointed in him. That he didn't think he could come to me and tell me what was going on with him is the part that really makes me wonder if I ever really knew him at all.

But, that's my problem, not yours.

The wedding is off. I broke our engagement that awful day, but only totally understood everything today. Kris and I sat down this morning and talked about it all. How his feelings for you started changing, how he kissed you the first time, everything.

He's in love with you. So stupid in love that it breaks my heart because I've just realised that what we had was a shadow of what the real thing is, what he feels for you. He feels sick with guilt. But again, I'm not going to plead his case because he has to be the one to do it. He screwed up so bad that day.

Anyway, I just wanted you to know these two things. I was wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. I'd really like to be your friend if you're willing to give me another chance. But I'll understand completely if you don't want to.

All my love, in spite of everything  
Katy  
p.s. I'm very surprised at how calmly I'm taking this all. Expect a freak out later, okay? I may need wine.

Adam closed the mail with a small smile. That burn in his chest was a little easier, the threatened panic attack hadn't materialised so he decided to act while he was feeling able to.

Her voice was bright, "Adam! You called!"

"I just got your mail. Thank you." He felt humbled by her generosity.

"Oh no, I behaved very badly." She sounded distressed.

Adam replied gently, "Sweetie, you'd just caught your fiancé kissing another man. You were entitled to have a batshit crazy moment. No one could have held that against you."

She moaned, "But I was so mean! I swear Adam, I've never been that nasty to anyone in my entire life."

Adam sighed, "Well, you couldn't take it out on Kris so I guess I made a pretty handy extra large target."

"Sorry," She mumbled again.

"It's forgotten," he assured her and they chatted for a little while about how he was feeling.

"Have you spoken to Kris yet?" she asked eventually and Adam felt the band around his chest tighten.

"No." His answer was brief and he concentrated on breathing.

"He feels so bad about everything. I wish you would, even if it's only to tell him you're okay."

"I can't." Adam said, nails digging into the palm of his hand. "I just can't. You tell him."

She sighed. "Okay, I'll do that. I'm just so glad you called me."

Adam said, "I'm really glad you mailed me. And I'm sorry too, about it all, the wedding, Kris, everything."

"That's okay," she answered, "I guess some things turn out for the best. I mean it would have been way worse if Kris had discovered that he was gay once we were married."

Her prosaic answer made Adam feel better. "I'll talk to you soon. Thanks again."

She said goodbye and Adam sat back in his chair. Some things turn out for the best, Katy had said. So why did he feel like he was only half a person now?

Under protest, he went back to work the next week and July oozed into a sticky August. 'Leave it to Lambert' was busy and that meant little time for Adam to be introspective.

Neil, Brad and Cassidy, Anoop and Megan and Allison seemed to be tag-teaming him so that he wasn't alone. Ever. He was going quietly crazy. Well, maybe not so much with the quietly part.

_Calling me sugar, you called me sugar_

Alli and he were watching the newest season of American Idol, gleefully shredding the people that auditioned who appeared utterly convinced of their own talent, despite the severe lack of it. It was better than a sitcom. Alli had stretched her legs over Adam's lap and they were sharing a huge bowl of salted, buttered popcorn when the doorbell rang. They had a brief game of 'rock, paper, scissors' which Alli lost and she flounced off with a put-upon sigh to open the door.

"Kris!" Half delighted, half shocked, Allison stared at him and Adam turned his head to look over at the door. Kris stood at the entrance, hands in the pockets of his jacket, scruffy beard and tired eyes and Adam couldn't remember ever seeing anyone more gorgeous.

"Hey Alli, it's good to see you." Allison looked nervously over her shoulder at Adam and then let herself hug Kris.

"You look…" she trailed off because she couldn't say anything nice. Frankly, he looked sick and sad and broken and not like Kris at all.

"Yeah," he answered. "I've been better." The side of his mouth kicked up in a weary grin and he looked over at Adam, eyes dark. "Can I come in?" Adam shrugged and waited for the panic to start. It didn't.

Alli swivelled her head between the two of them and then declared, "Well, I'm gonna head home then cos I'm seriously third wheeling here, dudes." She sent Adam a narrow-eyed stare. "You call me if you need me, alright? I'm just down the hall."

He nodded and she kissed him goodnight, cheerfully stealing the popcorn, telling him it would make him fat anyway, and stopping at Kris on her way out, jabbing him with a belligerent finger. "You'd better sort your shit out, man. You fucked up. Make it right, okay?"

Kris smiled and squeezing the poking finger, popping a brief kiss on the knuckle. "I'm going to try. It's all I can do, right?" Something in his eyes must have satisfied her because she threw her arms around him and clung. He looked over her shoulder at Adam, helpless and charmed and Adam had to look away.

The apartment seemed a lot smaller once she left. Kris walked into the sitting room and sat on the chair opposite Adam. He'd stayed put, stretched out on the sofa and carefully nonchalant despite the fact that his heart was beating so fast he bet it could rival the beats of a hummingbird's wings.

"I wasn't sure you'd let me in." Kris confessed.

Adam smiled grimly. "I'm not sure I should have."

Kris chuckled, but it wasn't a happy sound. "I came here to talk. To make things, to make us right, even if you don't care or it's too late. I need to make you see, that day…" he trailed off, "I'm sorry." He lifted his shoulders in a hopeless shrug. "I can say words until they come out of my butt, but the truth is, I fucked up and I am so very sorry."

Adam watched him silently. He wanted to jump up and throw himself at Kris, beg him to love him and be with him forever, but the truth of the matter was that Kris had not defended him to Katy, had left him out in the cold. That was the part that Adam was struggling to deal with.

"Can you please say something?" Kris begged.

"Something?" Adam offered with a wry smile and then he stood up. "Would you like something to drink?"

Kris gave a frustrated sigh and then said, "Sure, thanks, a beer if you've got one."

Adam nodded and went to the kitchen. He pulled out a beer for Kris from his refrigerator and leaned his forehead against the fridge door, taking deep breaths to calm himself.

"I was beginning to think you didn't feel anything for me anymore." The rough voice behind him made Adam jump and he spun to face Kris who was leaning against the doorframe with a half smile on his face.

Adam dropped the pretence and let Kris see the turmoil in his eyes, it made him flinch but he stood there, bracing for his punishment. "That was never my problem," Adam told him.

He passed Kris his beer and waited for him to move out of the doorway so that he could get back to the safety of the sofa. Kris didn't move.

"I came here to beg you to forgive me," Kris said, eyes intent on Adam's face. "To ask you to give me another chance to prove that I'm not a chicken-shit coward who freezes instead of protecting the man he loves."

Adam sucked in a breath.

Kris took his hand, laced their fingers together in a knot and held on tight. "I came here to plead with you to take pity on me, to promise you that whatever doubts I had disappeared the moment you were out of my life." He rubbed his thumb along the palm of Adam's hand absently.

Adam felt his heart start bouncing around in his chest like a rubber ball.

Kris stepped towards Adam, pressed against him full length body to body and whispered, "I came here to tell you that I love you so fucking much that even if all you can offer is friendship, it will be enough." He put his head against Adam's chest and murmured, "Katy and me aren't getting married anymore."

Adam finally found his voice. "I know. She told me."

Kris looked up at him in surprise. "You've talked to Katy?" he asked, eyes startled.

Adam nodded. "Several times. She's a lovely girl."

Kris nodded glumly. "Figures. I'm soul searching and covering myself in ash and Katy's all BFF with you again."

"Do you even know what BFF means?" Adam snorted a little and Kris grinned.

"Best Friends Forever?" He laughed at Adam's astonishment. "Hey, I have nieces you know!" then he sobered. "What will it take to make it good between us again, to make it right?" he asked.

Adam shook his head. "It's not that easy, Kris. That day, you destroyed me. You lifted me up and then tore me down when you didn't say a word to defend me."

"I know. It's made me feel sick ever since, but I need you to forgive me." He took Adam's other hand and gazed intently into his eyes. "See, here's the thing. I've found out that life with out you is life, but life with you is living."

Adam stared at him, remembering Cass asking him if he was living.

"Adam?"

"You have the power to break me completely." Adam confessed, "I fell so hard, so fast for you that it hardly registered that you were engaged to be married." He looked down at their joined hands. "I sort of put you on a pedestal."

"I'm totally not worthy of worship." Kris assured him, "I'm not perfect."

Adam raised an eyebrow. "Oh, that I know, sugar." And Kris laughed.

"How about you let me take you out?" Kris suggested.

"Like on a date?" Adam asked curiously and Kris nodded.

"Like exactly on a date."

Adam thought about it for a moment. A date sounded harmless, non-committal and he just flat-out missed Kris. "Okay, that sounds like a good place to start," he agreed.

Kris shook his head and whispered, "Personally, I think the perfect place to start would be here…"

Adam had forgotten what it felt like, what it tasted like, Kris' mouth on his. Right now it tasted of temptation and sin and want and he just wanted to wallow around in it for a while. So he did.

When Kris released his mouth with a soft, wet pop, Adam was dazed and noodle-kneed and Kris was cuddled up between his thighs.

"You should think about bottling that." Adam told him and he frowned.

"Bottling what?"

"The potency of that mouth." Adam shook his head. "This is what got me into trouble in the first place."

"I promise that from now on, you can call me George." Kris vowed. "I'll slay all your dragons."

Adam remembered the conversation from that day. "And you can call me baby," he finished softly with a smile.

Kris tucked his face into Adam's neck and just breathed. Once. Twice. "Baby."

_Have you ever wished for an endless night?  
Lassoed the moon and the stars and pulled that rope tight  
Have you ever held your breath and asked yourself  
Will it ever get better than tonight?  
Tonight_

**Author's Note:**

> **notes:** For who donated $100 for a fic at the comm. even though she only bid $75. How crazy is that? Thanks to and for looking it over and making suggestions. All mistakes are my own as always. I borrowed a little from the movie "The Wedding Planner" but as you'll see, I deviated a tad.


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